Just Add Water
by Shadow of Light
Summary: Zevran makes laundry fun! A very short one-off written for pure entertainment value when I was challenged to make washing clothes sound exciting...


_Author's Note: This was a quick piece of fun I wrote while my other (and significantly larger) fanfic 'Dragon Age: The Hunt' was in progress. A reader remarked that I could probably make laundry sound interesting, so I bit and produced this. ;) Originally it only appeared in the Bioware Social Network forum, but another friend commented I should post it for the FF Net peeps, so enjoy!_

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Asleena's eyes narrowed at her foe. Fingers clenched around her weapon, holding it firmly as she attacked with repeated downward strokes of her hand.

"This stain," she said through grated teeth, "refuses to come out!"

"Alas," Zevran said from behind her. The Antivan lounged against a tree with his arms folded and one foot cocked back against the trunk, watching the Warden's efforts with amusement. "But you have other clothes, surely? Not that I have any complaints about these ones, of course," he added, lifting a dainty piece of underwear from the nearby line.

"If you don't put that back _right now_ I swear there will be trouble, Zev."

"But I am not done admiring--!" The assassin ducked as the soap flew towards him, leaving a splatter of suds and a small waxy mark on the wood where it struck. He tsked, replaced the clothing and retrieved the soap. "You know, being attacked while I am in the act of examining a beautiful woman's lingerie _could _be considered foreplay, my dear."

"Or that the woman in question just wants to cause you grievous bodily harm," Asleena glowered. "Pass it back."

He grinned and tossed the soap over. She caught it, fumbled, it slipped out of her grasp with a little squirting noise to land in the river, whereby it proceeded to float rapidly downstream.

"Great," the Warden said flatly.

Zevran chuckled. "Nice catch."

"You…just…shut it." She stood, wrenched water from the tunic and snapped it out with a dramatic flourish, spraying the grass with glittering droplets. There was still a very large patch of dried darkspawn blood near the hem. "I should make _you _finish cleaning this."

"Ah, the harsh chores we elves are forced to undertake for our noble human masters." He sighed theatrically and came over, bowing low and extending a hand for the shirt. "It seems I will never be able to escape the shackles of my race. As a Cousland you probably had many elven servants back at Highever, yes? Cooks, cleaners…"

"Er…well, yes…"

"…bed warmers…" he went on, giving her the most lecherous smile in his repertoire.

Asleena draped the dripping garment over Zevran's head, stood and walked past him in cool silence. Then she stopped, looked back to narrow her eyes at the assassin's leather-clad, leanly muscled posterior, and sidestepped very carefully up behind him with every intention of thrusting him headfirst into the river.

She should have known she couldn't sneak up on the former Crow. He spun about, grabbed both of the arms she'd half-extended towards him and threw himself backwards. Had she been prepared she'd have been strong enough to thwart his attempt, but he caught her completely off guard and his weight landed both of them in the cold water.

She emerged with a splutter and an indignant squeal; he laughing uproariously and flinging his wet hair back. The water was waist height, but landing side-on had drenched the both of them from head to foot. Zevran raked Asleena with an appreciative gaze, noting how her sopping shirt clung tenaciously to every curve. That combined with her aggravated expression and dangerous glare only conspired to make her look more fascinating. She went crimson at his brazen appraisal and turned her back on him, floundering off to retrieve the stained tunic that was drifting downstream and muttering something about being too lenient on annoying assassins.

Zevran proceeded to admire her from the rear instead. Just as she should have known she couldn't catch him with stealth, _he _should have known what a bad mistake merely adding water would be. Wading after her, he stopped right behind and life-threateningly close before reaching around to claim the shirt from her hands.

"I believe you wanted me to take care of this personally, my Grey Warden," he said quietly, his lips by her ear, and chuckled low. "Was there anything else…dirty…you wished me to handle?"


End file.
